Chapter 15 The Key 322

pools in the caverns of the limestone. These where called “cenotes.”

I swam upwards, breaking through the glass surface toward the light, and rolled over and floated on my back. I closed my eyes, enjoying myself and feeling the sun on my face. The sun language created a dance of aqua and orange geometric shapes, floating around like amoebas under a microscope. Relaxing for the first time in days and allowing the sun language to entertain me, I fell into a sacred space of my own. I imagined that I was being baptized from the fury of the storm into a new life, one that I would create from a new understanding of conscious compassion. This fear I had been dancing with since the storm abated was the fear of creating a new life without Chris. But going even deeper than that, my core fear was one of abandonment. My father had left when I was a small child; Ron had deserted me emotionally, and now I was faced with the loss of Chris, my biggest supporter. I understood that the true source of this river of emotions was my feeling of having abandoned myself. Just as the Mayans didn’t know the source of the water in which I floated, perhaps I did not know the source of my fear. I floated among the people in the ancient and sacred waters, cleansing my emotions and my physical body and filling my spirit.

I drifted away to a time when I was just consciousness, without a body, completely connected to all of creation. I was part of everything, yet I was an individual spark of God. A call went out for individuated souls to become part of a grand experiment to expand consciousness … to expand all that was. I knew I would take that leap. In front of me appeared a ring of fire and I leaped through the ring into a physical body and a door slammed shut. I awakened in a world of duality,